My friend shared some quote meme this week, which read:
The best dating advice I ever got from my mom was, “The signs you ignore in the beginning just end up being the reason you leave later. You know right away who’s good and bad for you. Don’t ignore that.”
I re-shared it on Instagram and Facebook and my friend Rachel asked a very profound question, that is worth discussing: She said, “we should talk about why we ignore the signs — self doubt, shame etc…Why do we choose to love the red flags versus run away?”
And immediately, I’m like YES let’s explore this and let’s do it together.
Follow guest Rachel Berger-Horcher at @raya_wellness_ and host Octavia on IG @octaviaaivatco and @roadtorelovery ; on Facebook @roadtorelovery, and if you have something to share, email email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.
This episode, hosts Tori and Rob take on the epic anime series Bleach! Join them for the first in a series of episodes watching and recapping Bleach and why they believe you should come on this journey with them too!
Hosts Dana and Tori interview Life Coach Ali DeVries, a certified coach for the U.S. Air Force and Tori’s personal coach! They converse about the mentor mindset, how to find your true superpower and reflect on their personal ‘whys’ for Boss Mode!
People are constantly complimenting the behavior and general presence of my children. So it’s time to release my secret sauce. In this episode, I break down my parenting techniques. TLDR: I give my kids room to exist & I invite them to cooperate.
I affirm their reasoning & make them feel secure.
I write my shows ahead of time to read and reference live, then clean them up for the blog article, and then publish the audio as a podcast…
In this episode, I wasn’t prepared to:
• realize this episode is basically the outline of what should be a parenting handbook
• process out loud the pain around being a single parent — my kids don’t need a stepdad; I don’t need help — I simply wish my boys could see someone love and cherish their mom
• hear how many of you — and me, too — wished we had someone like me as a parent growing up. I hear that and receive that and it’s truly the most incredible compliment I’ve ever had
I was unfiltered and a little embarrassed to be so weepy. But if my raw vulnerability can help inspire your healing, I’ll do it over and over and over again.
The full blog article will be published on www.roadtorelovery.com.
Boss Mode: Initiated is a podcast with hosts Tori Clark and Dana Galindo. This self help talk follows the adventures of two best friends deciding to turn on Boss Mode and inevitably turn their lives around for the better.
Tori is a director, actress and writer who also is a top saleswoman in Los Angeles, California.
Dana is a top credit analyst, lead hair dresser and a married mother of two dogs out of Denver, Colorado. Knowing one another since they were 5 years old, Tori and Dana are excited to share their journey of choosing to initiate Boss Mode and hoping this will turn the key to happiness.
This episode compares relationship types to housing. Read the full blog article on RoadtoRelovery.com.
What kind of relationship tenant are you?
A) Open House – ok, we can call these the Players – these are the individuals that want to walk through everything on the market with no intention to place an offer – they just want to always keep all options open.
B) Leasing Renters – these tenants prefer long-term relationships but always move around the same time; your serial 1-2 year relationships and then get bored and move on.
C) Month to Month Renters – these tenants take everything one day-month at a time. These tenants are content and love their situation. Things are great…until they aren’t.
D) Investors – these are your traditional contract-seeking lifers. They want to spend time seeking out the best match for them and make the one-time decision and legacy for the good, the bad, the gutting and the rehabbing.
Here’s a hilarious article on The Hard Times that is all about the Bs.
I personally am a C; I look at month to month commitment kind of like alcoholics anonymous and their approach sobriety. You don’t jump into an addition cessation program saying, starting today I’m never going to touch this thing ever again forever and ever amen! No – you take it one day at a time. You say, ok I’m going to make it one hour without indulging in this vice. Ok, wow it’s been three hours. Ok, I’m going to make it for the rest of the day. And then you celebrate that day. And then the next day. And the next.
I found a lovely poem about it, too. This is from a blog called Sober Julie.
It’s also important to learn how the type of tenant you are can cause issues in your relationship:
There’s a HUGE amount of risk in being honest – and that one huge risk is rejection. No one wants to feel the stabbing pain of dismissal and heartache and disgust for being vulnerable. That’s why vulnerability is difficult –its risky. Its uncomfortable. But that’s also what its needed to make a good and lasting relationship work. Know yourself. Name your desires and your needs. Don’t settle.
Don’t forget join me on my new Facebook and IG live recordings of the Road to Relovery podcast every Thursday night at 10pm CST.
Road to Relovery the podcast is BACK!
I was struggling with the vision for this show – rather, I had the vision, but the delivery wasn’t giving me that “this is right” gut feeling.
So I put a pin in it.
Since we’ve been instructed to practice social distancing and take self-isolation seriously, I’ve found great comfort in “going live” on my Facebook and Instagram feeds with a series simply called “Open Studio.” During this time, I would paint, play my cello, dance, do [adult] MadLibs – anything to keep things interesting and connected.
And then I decided, this feels good. This is that gut feeling I was looking for. It’s time to bring back Road to Relovery.
Today’s episode is called Quarantine & Cake and it began with me spiraling about my singleness. Long story short, I have been intentionally single and not-looking since 2017. I didn’t want to be bothered, distracted… or heartbroken anymore. So I gave it up!
And just when I decided to jump back in the ring, two things happened: someone I was finally interested in told me they weren’t ready to be in a relationship. Fine, I thought, we can just have fun. But when I checked in on them, hoping to plan some quality time together, they told me, “So… I’m seeing someone.”
Axe to my heart. Again.
But it was laughable really. And I decided to have fun with it. I wasn’t mad. I was definitely hurt and disappointed, but I wasn’t mad. All I want for everyone is their happiness. And if they met the person that can make them take the leap from “not being ready” to suddenly being “all-in,” then hell yeah! I’m celebrating their connection. This person and I still chat every now and then and I hope we continue to indulge a mutual enjoyment of each other’s company, with respect to, of course the new significant other.
Meanwhile, I’m still single. Groan.
And now there’s a Shelter In Place order, double groan, which eliminates all my bar-hopping, eyes-making contact with the public (only on my kid-free weekends).
And joking about it. I know. People find me attractive and impressive, but I’m still not datable. Maybe it’s because I’m too intimidating and I would take too much work, communication and planning. Maybe I’m just too difficult to date. Or maybe it’s the kids. Go back and listen to my first episode for my tirade on that one. Or maybe because I’m so comfortable with the people I’m interested in, my security may be mistaken for coldness – I don’t really do that false-intimacy infatuation thing. My jam consists of passionate flirting, open communication and emphatic reciprocation. Or maybe someone just doesn’t feel the magnetism I feel – which is perfectly acceptable, too. Whatever the reason, I’m laughing at my rejection to get through the misery.
And truly, it has been a blast.
Until I spiraled.
My friend asked a blanket question on social media checking in on the singles out there. I said, “Forgotten and neglected, but what else is new!”
Heh heh. Triple groan.
And then they said, “I don’t get it, it’s like no one wanting cake at a party.”
Quadruple groan. I’m lonely cake at the party of the century and no one wants to try me.
To hear the conclusion and resolution of my brief spiral, and my prayer for this global pandemic, listen to Episode 2: Quarantine & Cake.
And join me on my new Facebook and IG live recordings of the Road to Relovery podcast every Thursday night at 10pm CST.
Introducing The Belles of Fury Experience, hosted by entertainers Rob Fury and Tori Clark, the duo known as Belles of Fury.
They will bring you all things pop culture, current events and whatever is in between.